Thursday, April 1, 2010
Horrible Horror #08 - April Fool's Day (2008 Remake)
Finally a new review from me! Once again, it's a fairly short one. I probably have to admit to myself that this one didn't lend itself so well to jokes as I thought it would, but here it is.
Remember, you can always send me suggestions for videos at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com
April Fool´s Day (2008) is (C) 360 Pictures
-Stay Scared
Monday, February 15, 2010
And so, I finally return to the reviewing game, just barely in time for Valentine to give you the single most boring film ever to feature a burnt-faced maniac, namely the absolutely terrible Honeymoon Horror.
This episode actually turned out a lot better than I thought, and it is way shorter than most of the others - I could say that this is because I took your critique to heart and summarized better, but honestly... I really covered everything that happened. It's that boring.
This alost didn't get made. I spent half the day trying to get Movie Maker to render it right without smacking a big fat load of green on the movie clips - so now it just barely makes it to the 14th. You better appreciate my stubbornness, folks!
Anyway, enjoy the new review and the new background in my new room - I shall see you later!
Remember, you can always send me suggestions for videos at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com
Honeymoon Horror is (C) Omega Cinema Productions
-Stay Scared
Friday, January 29, 2010
Why I haven't been around... again.
Yeah, the video and the title speaks for itself.
Remember, you can always send me suggestions for videos at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com
-Stay Scared
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Horrible Horror #06 - Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning (1985)
((Crap - I really didn't want THAT to be the display pic... but I can't seem to do dick about it))
Heyooo! Here's the latest review for all of you! This time we tackle one of the really big boys in the slasher genre, none other than Jason Voorhees himself. Sure, his movies aren't exactly high art, but at least most of them are entertaining for fans of the subgenre... well, except for a few, this atrocity being one of them.
I am really happy with how this came out, personally - now I can only wait for all the Michael Jackson fans who still aren't over the guy to grab their torches and their pitchforks and chase me off the internet.
Not much to say - I just really like this episode, and I hope you do too!
Remember, you can always send me suggestions for videos at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com
Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning is (C) Paramount Pictures
- Stay Scared
Monday, December 14, 2009
Recommendation Round #01 - Christmas
Whussap people! Esh is here once again to tell you what to think, this time to inform you about a bunch of christmas horror movies that you should watch in our very first edition of the Recommendation Round!
There's not much to say, really - again, when I slup up words or there is a slight grammatical error, it is simply because this is pretty much unscripted, and english IS after all my second language - even I, the otherwise perfect Esh, makes the occasional mistake here and there.
No one should take offense to me mentioning that "almost every character in Santa's Slay is played by jews", by the way - I am just stating the fact that many jewish actors are in it, such as wrestler Bill Goldberg playing Santa, which I somehow managed to forget mentioning in the video. Ah well.
Still working hard on the next videos - the busy month of December has not exactly made it easy to get some work done, but the next episode should be up on Christmas Day, so consider it a present from me... even if it's really no different from any other time.
Anyway, until next time, peace out and have a happy December.
Remember, you can always send me suggestions for videos at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com
Jack Frost is (C) Moonstone Entertainment
Silent Night Deadly Night 2 is (C) Silent Night Releasing Corporation
-Stay Scared
Monday, November 30, 2009
Recently Seen Horror #03 - Feast (2005)
Welcome to another round of Recently Seen, where I give my two cents about Feast, one heck of a fun monster movie.
Not much to say - I am hard at work at Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning, and working on a reccomendation video for some fun christmas horror films to watch in December - come January, however, I will be moving, and I have no idea what form the show will take from there, so there may be a short hiatus. But these next few videos are going to be the last time you see my brightly colored closets behind me.
I don't know why my microphone decided to record this in such low quality and scratch up my voice so much - sorry about that.
Notice that all episodes now have blip.tv players! No more cutting off the review to see several parts! That is, except for Episode #04, the Dusk till Dawn 2 review, which Blip just won't accept for some reason - I am working on figuring out why.
Remember, you can always send me suggestions for videos at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com
Feast is (C) Dimension Films
-Stay Scared
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Horrible Horror #05 - Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
Well, I didn't manage to release it on Halloween as hoped, but at least it only took a week after that to get it up - you'll have to excuse the opening, since I had SO planned on releasing this October 31st... and the fact that it was the first time I have ever actually done anything special about it being Halloween here in Denmark.
This episode is by far the longest - I think primarily because of the introduction where I attempt to give an (admittedly VERY brief) summary of the Halloween series just to give the viewers an idea of what it is we are dealing with - to think that such a great series could end with something this ridicilous - at least until the almost equally ridicilous sequel and it's sequel. Ah well, at least Mikey got a break for five years after this one.
And since Windows Movie Maker has been pissing me off all day today and causing me one technical problem after another, I have FINALLY gotten myself a new program with which to make the next video - hopefully, that will improve on a LOT of things.
Next up is another entry in another very popular franchise - I will be reviewing Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning! So stay tuned for that!
Remember, you can always send me suggestions for videos at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com
Halloween: Resurrection is (C) Dimension Films
-Stay Scared
Thursday, November 5, 2009
No Recently Seen Videos - Instead, text reviews!
Yeah, I seem to be completely unable to keep promises lately, but everything just keeps piling up on me.
So rather than Recently Seen videos about Zombieland and Trick 'R Treat, here's two brief text reviews for you to read - On the bright side, Halloween: Resurrection is close to finished and will DEFINETELY be up tomorrow for your enjoyment. And then I will try to get a review of Friday the 13th Part 5 - A New Beginning done - such a frustrating drop in quality after the fun that is the first four.
But anyway- here's my reviews.
------
Zombieland
"It's time nut up or shut up!"
A young man with a phobia for practically everything thinks he is the only normal human left in the zombie-infested USA... until he runs into the Twinkie-loving, badass zombie killer who calls himself Tallahasse, as we follow them on the road through out what is now known as Zombieland, and they are accompanied by two cunning young girls...
---
It just doesn't get any cooler than this!
Holy shit this is without a doubt one of the most surpremely awesome films ever - it's plowed its way straight into my list of Awesome Movies that would be great for a marathon with the guys and a shitload of beer - Right up there with Dusk till Dawn, Tremors and Predator.
But Zombieland is COMPLETELY different than those three - it is a brilliant comedy that not only dances around knee deep in clichés but somehow manages to dodge them elegantly all the same. With a great cast and a fantastic script that clearly shows a deep-rooted love for zombie-movies and humor of the A-class, Zombieland is a little comedic masterpiece that stands up like a mountain in the horizon. Watching this in the theater was amazing, no matter how small the room was.
It was one of the funniest and one of the coolest movies I have ever seen - it has balls the size of Barcelona, and it knows how to entertain! So find your beers, find a bag of chips and a couple of guys, and you're in for a ride!
5 / 5 . I was incredibly entertained!
------
Trick 'R Treat
"You should be careful. There are rules."
Five stories happen on Halloween in a local town... reminding all to stick by the rules and remember the reasons this holiday is celebrated in the first place, thanks to the pint-sized, mysterious Trick or Treater known only as Sam.
---
The fact that this movie has been sitting on the shelf at Warner Bros. for two years without a theatrical release, only to get a straight-to-DVD release after so long is nothing short of a crime against humanity.
I love anthology-horror films such as Creepshow, and Trick 'R Treat is without a doubt the best of them. Whereas Creepshow is a very fun and entertaining movie with boatloads of talent behind the wheels, it is a product of its time, of a low budget and of frustratingly low scare-value.. Trick 'R Treat, on the other hand, has a high production value and a timeless approach to the concept of Halloween, jampacked with an amazing cast, script and directing. This movie is nothing shotr of gorgeous in just about every shot.
All five stories are great with less predictable twists than you'd usually see, and unlike other anthology movies that tell their stories individually only with a wrap-around-story that tries to explain why we are being told more than one story, all of Trick 'R Treats stories take place at the same time at the same town, and this is executed amazingly well with a comic book-style approach, and the movie going in a great circle, ending where it started.
This movie is genuinely scary when it wants to be, but is still not afraid to include some dark humor, though avoiding stepping into the realms of self-parody that some movies tend to do - and yet also without going over the top with the otherwise merciless gore. It's a brilliantly crafted film of many tales, and deserves to be seen by anyone who appreciates a good scare... as well as anyone who appreciates a generally good movie.
Another 5 / 5. God it was great.
------
Remember, you can always send me suggestions for videos at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com
-Stay Scared
So rather than Recently Seen videos about Zombieland and Trick 'R Treat, here's two brief text reviews for you to read - On the bright side, Halloween: Resurrection is close to finished and will DEFINETELY be up tomorrow for your enjoyment. And then I will try to get a review of Friday the 13th Part 5 - A New Beginning done - such a frustrating drop in quality after the fun that is the first four.
But anyway- here's my reviews.
------
Zombieland
"It's time nut up or shut up!"
A young man with a phobia for practically everything thinks he is the only normal human left in the zombie-infested USA... until he runs into the Twinkie-loving, badass zombie killer who calls himself Tallahasse, as we follow them on the road through out what is now known as Zombieland, and they are accompanied by two cunning young girls...
---
It just doesn't get any cooler than this!
Holy shit this is without a doubt one of the most surpremely awesome films ever - it's plowed its way straight into my list of Awesome Movies that would be great for a marathon with the guys and a shitload of beer - Right up there with Dusk till Dawn, Tremors and Predator.
But Zombieland is COMPLETELY different than those three - it is a brilliant comedy that not only dances around knee deep in clichés but somehow manages to dodge them elegantly all the same. With a great cast and a fantastic script that clearly shows a deep-rooted love for zombie-movies and humor of the A-class, Zombieland is a little comedic masterpiece that stands up like a mountain in the horizon. Watching this in the theater was amazing, no matter how small the room was.
It was one of the funniest and one of the coolest movies I have ever seen - it has balls the size of Barcelona, and it knows how to entertain! So find your beers, find a bag of chips and a couple of guys, and you're in for a ride!
5 / 5 . I was incredibly entertained!
------
Trick 'R Treat
"You should be careful. There are rules."
Five stories happen on Halloween in a local town... reminding all to stick by the rules and remember the reasons this holiday is celebrated in the first place, thanks to the pint-sized, mysterious Trick or Treater known only as Sam.
---
The fact that this movie has been sitting on the shelf at Warner Bros. for two years without a theatrical release, only to get a straight-to-DVD release after so long is nothing short of a crime against humanity.
I love anthology-horror films such as Creepshow, and Trick 'R Treat is without a doubt the best of them. Whereas Creepshow is a very fun and entertaining movie with boatloads of talent behind the wheels, it is a product of its time, of a low budget and of frustratingly low scare-value.. Trick 'R Treat, on the other hand, has a high production value and a timeless approach to the concept of Halloween, jampacked with an amazing cast, script and directing. This movie is nothing shotr of gorgeous in just about every shot.
All five stories are great with less predictable twists than you'd usually see, and unlike other anthology movies that tell their stories individually only with a wrap-around-story that tries to explain why we are being told more than one story, all of Trick 'R Treats stories take place at the same time at the same town, and this is executed amazingly well with a comic book-style approach, and the movie going in a great circle, ending where it started.
This movie is genuinely scary when it wants to be, but is still not afraid to include some dark humor, though avoiding stepping into the realms of self-parody that some movies tend to do - and yet also without going over the top with the otherwise merciless gore. It's a brilliantly crafted film of many tales, and deserves to be seen by anyone who appreciates a good scare... as well as anyone who appreciates a generally good movie.
Another 5 / 5. God it was great.
------
Remember, you can always send me suggestions for videos at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com
-Stay Scared
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Crap!
So. Today is Halloween. And you have without a doubt already noticed the complete and utter lack of video here.
Well, the thing is, I only HAD like a week to work on the Halloween: Resurrection review. And I had set those days aside just for that, to work like a horse and get it done. But wouldn't you know I just didn't get the chance either way? I constantly had to go somewhere, help out with the painting of our living room and go to a very important job interview for a job I might not even get - and all this results in me with nothing to show on Halloween, despite my longing to finish something on a deadline for once and be on time with the holiday.
All I can say to those reading this who were waiting is sorry! Sorry it is not here on Halloween - it's downright sad that a horror review series cannot manage to do SOMETHING on Halloween and it annoys me endlessly.
The one thing I CAN do is this: seeing as I AM going to a Halloween party tonight and I AM going to see both Zombieland and Trick 'R Treat, I WILL put up a Recently Seen of the two tomorrow.
As for the Halloween: Resurrection review - it will be made. It will take a couple of days, but it will be here - it will just be late.
So once again, sorry about the lack of a review today, and happy Halloween regardless of it.
Remember, you can always send me suggestions for videos at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com
-Stay Scared
Well, the thing is, I only HAD like a week to work on the Halloween: Resurrection review. And I had set those days aside just for that, to work like a horse and get it done. But wouldn't you know I just didn't get the chance either way? I constantly had to go somewhere, help out with the painting of our living room and go to a very important job interview for a job I might not even get - and all this results in me with nothing to show on Halloween, despite my longing to finish something on a deadline for once and be on time with the holiday.
All I can say to those reading this who were waiting is sorry! Sorry it is not here on Halloween - it's downright sad that a horror review series cannot manage to do SOMETHING on Halloween and it annoys me endlessly.
The one thing I CAN do is this: seeing as I AM going to a Halloween party tonight and I AM going to see both Zombieland and Trick 'R Treat, I WILL put up a Recently Seen of the two tomorrow.
As for the Halloween: Resurrection review - it will be made. It will take a couple of days, but it will be here - it will just be late.
So once again, sorry about the lack of a review today, and happy Halloween regardless of it.
Remember, you can always send me suggestions for videos at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com
-Stay Scared
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Horrible Horror #04 - From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (1999)
What ho! Horrible Horror is finally back after countless setbacks, such as vacations, breaking microphones and generally being busy! And thus, uncle Esh finally brings to you the review of the most disappointing sequel imaginable to one of the awesomest movies that exist on this planet - name From Dusk till Dawn!
There is not much to say this time around, other than yet again apologizing for the immense time it took to make this. Next up is Halloween: Resurrection in order to celebrate the opcoming Halloween - but I will admit that I can't quite guarantee one hundred percent that it will be up on the actual date, much as that annoys me. But still, I will do everything I can.
For now, enjoy From Dusk till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money in all its disappointing glory.
Remember, you can always send me suggestions for videos at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com
From Dusk till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money is (C) Dimension Films
-Stay Scared
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