Horrible Horror Episode #03 - The Unborn (2009)

Hello there, peeps. Uncle Esh is back for another round of Horrible Horror, JUST in time before he goes on his vacation! Yes, that's right, for the next week there is gonna be nothing but booze and concerts and sleeping in a tent with a pal at the lovely danish Skanderborg Festival, and it's gonna be freaking awesome!

In the meantime, you can hopefully entertain yourself watching Episode 3 of Horrible Horror, where I level the playing field a bit by reviewing a new, mainstream, big-budget film to show you just how much they can suck even in comparison to the old films I have dug out.

Note that this means it will take an extra week before the next review - hell, to be honest, I haven't even decided which one to review next! BUT I will get to work as soon as I come home.

You may note how this is a few minutes longer than my other reviews (resulting in me having to split it in three parts) - frankly, I was on a roll when I wrote this. I just kept coming up with ideas, and I couldn't bring myself to cut out even one of them. It was tough, but now it's here - one of the most sadly wasted horror film concepts since Boogeyman (which I WILL get to at a later point! What a turd of a movie!)


Also, stick around for the end of the credits. There may be a surprise for you...

Remember, you can always send me suggestions for videos at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com

The Unborn is (C) Rogue Pictures and Platinum Dunes

-Stay Scared

Recently Seen Horror - Happy Birthday To Me (1981)

Hey everybody - here's a little "Recently Seen" horror review to keep you occupied while I work on my The Unborn review. Since I turned 20 a week ago, I figured it would be fitting to talk about the immensely fun 1981 slasher flick "Happy Birthday To Me".

I do apologize for how slowly I work with these - but it is both because of my limited resources (Windows Movie Maker crashing constantly does make me tear out a few hairs) and the fact that I spend three hours every day just riding a train to and from work. But it'll get here, I promise.

For now, enjoy this quick review - and go check out the movie if I've somehow managed to make you interested in it.



Remember, you can always send me suggestions for videos at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com

Happy Birthday To Me is (C) Columbia Picutres Corporation and CFDC (Canadian Film Development Corporation)

-Stay Scared

Horrible Horror Episode #02 - Berserker: The Nordic Curse (1987)

Another month after the update and Drag Me To Hell review, I finally found time to finish episode 2 - Berserker: Nordic Curse, a terrible Viking-themed Slasher from 1987. To think that something as awesome as vikings (This is the Dane speaking, people) could be botched so much.

I was supposed to review Devon's Ghots for my second episode - but the copy I have just wouldn't seem to work, and I am having trouble finding a new one. So instead of leaving people hanging even longer, I decided to do this one.

You may notice the sound is a little lower - but that is the consequence of recording in a proper quality with the poor equipment I possess - you're probably gonna have to turn up your speakers.

Hope you enjoy the second episode. Next up, a far more recent, but just as terrible movie: THE UNBORN

Berserker is (C) Shapiro Entertainment

- Stay scared

Update + Recently Seen Horror - Drag Me To Hell (2009)

Shortly after my first video was made and I was preparing the Devon's Ghost review, my computer crashed, and it took a month to get things back on track - this video was made to update, as I was hosting my videos on the forum at and I wanted to let people know that I was not dead - while talking about "Drag Me To Hell" which I had seen a few days earlier.

The cuts and my mistakes in both grammar and my pausing is because this is largely unscripted. Which is sort of the point of these mini-videos. I wanted there to be a few video clips, but my computer wouldn't have it. It also because of my computer acting odd that the sound gets a little weird when a picture shows up - I have no idea how to fix this. Sorry.

Drag Me To Hell is (C) Universal Pictues and Ghost House Pictures

-Stay Scared

Horrible Horror Episode #01 - Offerings (1989)

This is the first episode I did of the show, way back in May 2009. As you can see, the quality is low - I still only work with an inbuilt camera in my laptop, and at this time I had not quite yet figured out the microphone and the camcorder, resulting in some choppy editing and low sound quality - but it is still what I like to think of as a wonderfully funny review of a terrible Halloween-ripoff.

Also, you will have to deal with some accent, what with my being Danish (Scandinavian / European for the more geography-blind folks) and all.

For now, simply enjoy the first episode of Horrible Horror. I hope you like it. OR I WILL SLAUGHTER YOU ALL.


Remember, you can always send me suggestions for videos at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com

Offerings is (C) Arista Films

-Stay Scared

Welcome to Horrible Horror

Hello to all of you, and welcome to Horrible Horror - where I put my life on the line for your entertainment!

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This blog will be used to collect episodes of my new video review series. What is it about? Well, Horrible Horror.

I figured that I might as well share a little fascination I have with horror films... preferably of the B-variety. I am a big fan of various "bad" horror films, and I can usually find quite a few redeeming qualities, for an example by taking things such as budget and time constraints into accountThis is the first of a new video series I am going to do.I figured that I might as well share a little fascination I have with horror films... preferably of the B-variety. I am a big fan of various "bad" horror films, and I can usually find quite a few redeeming qualities, for an example by taking things such as budget and time constraints into account. That, and they just amuse the hell out of me. But in this series, I will go over the very very worst I can think of.

At least, that is the main meat of the show - comedic reviews of bad, bad, bad horror movies. But there will also be various other aspects of the show:

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Recently Seen Horrors

These mini-videos are reviews of film I have recently seen and wish to talk about - be they bad or good, new or old - for whichever reason I may have in mind. Basically, these will largely be me giving my opinion of a movie I find particularly interesting or worth saying a few words about in a largely unscripted and simple format. They will mostly consist of me talking, followed by the occasional clip or picture, and are not as entirely focused on comedy as the main reviews.

Horrible Horror - Recommendation Rounds

These are videos I will make where I decide to talk about a specific, popular theme in horror films - an example would be Evil Clowns. These are not necessarily based on historical facts even if they may include some - the basic idea of THESE videos are to tell you, the viewer, about the theme itself, and me giving my analysis of why I think this particular theme is used as often (or rarely) as it is and give a few examples. At the end of the video, I will recommend a couple of films fitting the theme that I personally find particularly good.

TOP 10

What kind of reviewer would I be without occasionally making Top 10 lists?
These speak for themselves - whenever I make a top 10 list, I gather what I consider to be the ten best within a particular theme or subject. With a genre as subjective as horror, however, I will not claim to make it any sort of 'official' list - I am but a fan, and no expert in the field, and with horror being as varied a genre as it is, I would have no right to choose which are the greatest. Instead, they will be personal lists of what I consider to be the ten best - wether it be kills, monsters, plotlines, whatever.

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So that's the basic gist of the show. You are more than welcome to e-mail me suggestions for movies you would like me to review at Eshbaalauthr@gmail.com

And to all you Horror Fans out there, I can only say:

Stay tuned, and Stay Scared!

-Eshbaal